Not-So-Special Delivery

by Karen Schwarzkopf

What is the point exactly? That’s what I want to know.

It’s the question I ask, silently, every time I hear a mother chronicling every last detail of her agonizing labor and delivery story to a wide-eyed woman with a swollen belly; or every time I hear a father dispatching play-by-play of baby’s arrival on a par with that infamous alien eruption scene in the movie of the same name.

Because it just isn’t done, I do not interrupt and ask the question aloud. But still, it lingers inside me. I’d truly like to know.

What is the point?

In recently published research it was revealed that women who fear childbirth endure a labor that is, on average, an hour-and-a-half longer than those who aren’t afraid. It has to do with stress and hormones and how the body responds during intense situations, of course. But the cruel reality seems to be this: Fear the worst and that might be what you get. And why are women so afraid of childbirth anyway? More afraid than ever it feels like to me. The sad fact is, in a culture that feeds on sensationalism, not only is no one interested in happy endings, but you just might be judged harshly for trying to share them.

I remember the first time I was pregnant. Sitting at a table across from a friend who had just returned from maternity leave, I opened my big fat mouth. Tell me all about it. Not the precious baby part. Not what it felt like to come back to work. Or how she was adjusting to life with a newborn. I wanted to know about labor and delivery. As I shifted in my seat, trying to keep my belly out of the spill-zone while achieving some level of dining comfort, I was keenly aware of my own date with destiny.

So I listened to Rachel’s story, replete with ominous details: post-term induction, monster contractions, the 27-hour labor, exhaustion, forceps, the episiotomy, the stitches. And despite enduring what sounded like an excruciating ordeal, she added, “It’s an absolutely remarkable process – an amazing adventure. Something that only we can experience,” she grasped my hand for effect. “You should embrace every minute of it.”

By the time the lunch check arrived, I had already tabled the specifics of her birth day story in favor of one of my sister’s much more colorful, albeit abstract, assessments of childbirth: It’s like blowing a bowling ball out your nose! But that second part from my friend Rachel – the awesome process, amazing adventure stuff – these words inspired me.

Over the next month or so, I would listen to a variety of nightmare-inducing accounts from a variety of sources. The office elevator was a particularly good forum for sharing. It amazed me how quickly a co-worker could rattle off her unique horror story and still have time to call out “Oh, but I’m sure you’ll be different!” As the doors closed behind her.

And you know what? I was different. But nonetheless, it’s difficult for me to talk about any of my labors. Although I’ve run that race three times, I don’t tell my story very often. When I do, I make sure I’m one-on-one with the mom-to-be. It’s always best to steer clear of the veteran mom who will look at me with disdain, as if to chastise me for misleading the poor dear, before launching into her own grim tale of the epidural that never kicked in, or the back labor that resulted in a broken tailbone, or the – well, you get the idea. In fact, the last time I shared the details of my first L&D experience in a group, it was at a baby shower. And someone threw a cookie at me.

So here it is: four hours from start to finish; no drugs; no stitches. And a baby girl is born!

Admittedly, my story is a short one, and not sensational by any standards, but I should tell it. If yours was a positive childbirth experience, you should share it too – as often as you can, with no trepidation, and especially with the first-timers you know. These are the people who might never imagine labor and delivery as anything but miserable and something to fear. Truly, women everywhere need to hear that childbirth – whether it lasts four hours or forty – is an awesome process, something to be embraced, and perhaps most importantly, an amazing adventure with no equal.

And that, for the record, is my point.

{Karen Schwartzkopf has her dream job as managing editor of RFM. Wife, mother, arts and sports lover, she lives and works in the West End with her family: husband Scott, who not coincidentally is RFM’s creative director, and their daughters—Sam, Robin, and Lindsey. You can read Karen’s take on parenting every month in the Editor’s Voice.}

How To Prevent Diaper Rash

A baby's diaper rash can go from mild to extreme really fast. Prevention is key, so here are some tips to keep your baby from breaking out.

Change Your Baby's Diaper Often

Make sure you change your babies diaper anytime you notice they are wet. Newborns should be changed every couple of hours. 

Take Your Time

Make sure your baby's skin is dry before you put on a new diaper. 

Use The Right Wipes

If your baby has sensitive skin, make sure you are using wipes for sensitive skin. Otherwise, you could be irritating their skin and doing more harm. Opt for all natural or make your own wipes to avoid break outs. 

Easy Fall Snack For The Littles

Every month I have to take a snack for my baby boy's preschool class. Every month I seem to forget and look for some quick and easy thing to whip up together at the last minute. Well I found this little gem, and lets say it was a big hit with three years olds. It was so easy, my son was able to help and brag to his schoolmates about his wonderful "cooking" skills.

1 bag of Chex Mix

1 bag of Reeses Pieces

1 bag of Mini Marshmellows

1 bag of Candy Corn

Mix together in a large bowl and scoop into the needed portions. We were able to get about 14 snack bags that were a little over a cup each!

Easy Peasy. You're Welcome!

Because I Never Want To Live Without This Little Guy

It all happened in seconds. I heard my son coughing, which I've heard plenty of times in this journey of him learning to eat solids. I know that if he is coughing or gagging that the best thing to do is wait a minute and let him cough up the food by himself. But this, this was different. In a matter of seconds, I heard him cough, heard him make a strangled noise, and I watched his face turn red. My baby couldn't breathe. He was choking. 

My mom and I were sitting at the dinning room table just having a conversation. Logan was holding onto his cracker because he has begun feeding himself small bites of food. Yesterday, he didn't take a small bite. He shoved the whole cracker into his mouth. I watched him anxiously waiting to see if I needed to dash up and dislodge the food from his throat, but nothing happened. He chewed and swallowed. I begun easing up--relaxing. I thought the danger had passed and that's when it happened. I swear, it happened in the blink of an eye. I saw him become panicked and I threw him over my arm and gave him a smack on the back. I'd like to say it was perfectly between the shoulder blades like I have been trained to do, but it wasn't. I was so terrified that my child was in a life and death situation that my stroke fell off to the side, but it did the trick. He spit out the piece of cracker that was caught and then I heard him cry out. He was fine.

I however was not. My blood was pounding in my ears, adrenaline was coursing through my body, I thought I might pass out. I heard my mom tell me I had gone ashen. I can honestly say I've never been so scared in my entire life than in that tiny amount of time.

As freaked out as I was, I saved my son's life. I had been trained to do this during my time as a early childhood educator. If I hadn't had Infant First Aid/CPR training, I shudder to think of what might've happened.

I urge every parent to take a course. In fact, I urge every parent, grandparent, and childcare provider to take a course. Anyone who might be with your little one by themselves, needs to know what to do. The courses aren't too expensive, some are even offered for free, and they may someday make all the difference in your life.

Traveling With A Newborn For The Over-Prepared Parent

When my son was 6 weeks old, my sister was getting married in Texas. 
We live in Ohio, so it was quite the trip!  Our entire trip lasted 10
days, which included a 3-hour drive from northern to southern Ohio to visit family, a flight to College Station, Texas with a layover in
Dallas, 4 days in Texas for the wedding, a return flight back to Ohio,
and another 5 days visiting family before making the 3 hour drive back
to Cleveland.  Needless to say, all of this time away from home and
traveling caused a great deal of anxiety in me during the weeks leading up to the trip.  I decided to share what I brought with me on
our trip (I overpacked for sure!).  My son is now 16 months, so I am
also offering my advice, looking back, on what you really need, and
what you can do without. 

Whenever I travel, I tend to over-pack anyway.  With the large amount
of items a newborn baby needs, I knew I would end up over-packing in
the end, but wanted to make sure I had absolutely everything I needed
for such a long trip. I also had to consider out of everything I was
bringing for the 10 day excursion, what items would be necessary for
the trip to Texas. Over-packing for a road trip is one thing, but
over-packing for a flight where checked luggage is weighed and
expensive is another. 

In the end, we had a successful trip, and only slightly too many
things made the trip with us. This is what I packed (for the whole
trip as well as just the Texas portion), and some advice after making
the trip for traveling with a newborn (particularly flying).  Each
item is followed by parenthesis with 3 numbers.  The first number is
how many of that item I packed total.  The second number is how many
of the item out of what what packed I brought to Texas.  The third
number is how many of that item that was brought to Texas that I put
in my diaper bag/carry on for the flight. 
Feeding 

 Looking back: I definitely did not need to bring 2 formula containers
(1 was more than enough), a drying rack, both Boppy pillows (the
travel one would have been enough) or the bottle warmer.  Things like
burp cloths and bibs I could have brought fewer of since there is this
handy-dandy thing called the “washing machine” that I could wash
them in if needed. 

DIAPERING

Looking back: Ya, you are going to need all of that.  The only thing I
would have done different is just bought all of the diapers I needed
when I arrived instead of traveling with any from Cleveland. 

MEDICINE AND CARE

Looking back: A LOT of these could have been left behind.  In general,
most people will have Vaseline, a nail file, cotton swabs, and a
thermometer if needed, so I really didn’t need to bring my own.  The
travel size of sunscreen is more than enough for a 10 day trip.  I’m
not sure how much sun I thought my little one was going to be soaking
up, but I could have left the big bottle at home. 

GETTING AROUND

Looking back: You are going to need all of this.  If you flying and
don’t want to worry about checking your car seat and damaging it
along the way (we had no issues with this, but some do worry), you can
rent a car seat along with your car.  Just check with the rental
company before your trip to make sure they offer this, and have one
available. 

PLAY

Looking back: It is up to you how many toys you decide to travel with.
Be sure to think of where you are going.  If there are already kids
where you are traveling, you probably won’t need to bring much.  If
it is a home of only adults, you will most likely need to bring a few
to keep your baby stimulated during the trip. 

SLEEP

Looking back: Also over-packed in this category.  You can make due
with the baby monitor (a must), a Pack n’ Play sheet, 1 or 2
blankets, and 2 swaddle blankets. 

BATH TIME

Looking back: You can cut back on the number of washcloths and towels
by just doing laundry while on your trip.  You also only need a travel
size of baby wash. 

CLOTHING

Looking back: One word describes how you can cut back: LAUNDRY!
(Noticing a theme?) 

OTHER

Looking back: All of these are things you will need (except maybe the
stain remover and first aid kit), but you can reduce quantities of
each for sure. 

ADVICE FOR TRAVELING WITH AN INFANT

Check the TSA's site for the most up-to-date information about

traveling with children (see the link below).  They were really great

with us at both locations. 

Make sure to add your in-lap infant to your ticket.  We booked our
tickets before Patrick was born, and were able to call and add him to
our tickets after her was officially here. 

We checked his car seat and base. We put them in a large trash bag to
protect them (they do sell travel bags, but trash bags are cheaper). 
We gate checked the stroller.  Having it during our lay-over helped
with diaper changes and naps.  If we didn't have a lay-over I would
also have checked the stroller. 

We were able to wear Patrick in the Baby Bjorn the entire time,
including through security and the entire flight.  I had read that
some airlines don't let allow that, but American Airlines did. 

Do a fresh diaper change and begin a bottle as close to boarding as
possible.  Most flights will let you board early if you have children.
Continue feeding through take-off or use a pacifier to prevent his
ears from popping.  With a clean diaper and full belly he slept
through both of our flights. 

The ready to use bottles are great for feedings right before
boarding, take-off and landing.  They don't require fumbling around
for formula and water. 

A pacifier clip is a must!  You don't want to be fumbling on the
ground of the plane looking for one that fell.

Think about what consumable items you can buy at your destination
(formula, diapers, etc).  That is less you have to pack in your bags. 

If you are staying at a hotel, ask for a crib or Pack n' Play for
your room.  Most do, and it is free.  If you are staying at someone's
home, see if they have or know someone who has a Pack n' Play you can
use.  That is one less bulky item that you need to bring. 

Don't forget your camera!

Patrick gets hot really easily, so Texas was rather uncomfortable for
him.  We have since bought a small personal fan (ours was in the $1
bin at Target) that I keep in the diaper bag for hot situations. 

Don't worry or stress over what others think or if they are bothered
by your baby.  You have a newborn, and traveling with him is not an
easy task. No matter what you are doing the best you can.  Take time
to enjoy it!  It is an important milestone, and a fun one if you allow
it to be. 

It was all worth it!  We had a great time at my sister's wedding! 

I did a lot of research while compiling my packing list. I couldn't
find one site that met my particular needs (long term trip with 6 week
old broken up into 2 destinations), so I used some of the best parts
from several other lists. Below are sites that I used in my research
while creating my packing list. 

It's Beginning To Look Like Fall

It's beginning to look like Fall at The Baby Burp! We have so many cute Halloween and Fall inspired products for your littles! Costumes, maternity shirts, cloth diapers and accessories. More products are being added daily! Most of our products are one of a kind or made by other moms, so you are not going to find any of these together at your local store. Custom and personalized items are available up on request to the Seller.  So go grab your pumpkin spice latte and start shopping! 

6 Tips for Monthly Baby Pictures Success

The months before my son was born, I learned about monthly pictures from browsing Pinterest and seeing friends on Facebook post their own images.  I knew I wanted to try this once he arrived! Here is the result, as well as some tips I learned along the way!

First off, keep in mind that "success" is a relative term.

Our monthly pictures were by no means perfect, but they did what they were intended to do...show how our son grew and changed over his first year.  The first year of a child's life involves so much transformation, both physical and in personality.  Monthly pictures are a means of capturing these changes, that seem to happen way to fast!

After experiencing our first time of capturing monthly pictures of our little guy, here are some tips to help you are your capture your own.

1. Plan ahead

If you are going to take on monthly pictures, you might need to make that decision before your little nugget arrives. You definitely will if you are going to use a onesie sticker or other prop in your pictures.  I ordered our stickers off of Etsy from Peach Tea Couture.

2. Perspective

Pick some type of object that will allow you to have a perspective as to how much your little one has grown.  It might be a stuffed animal (we used a bear in most of Patrick's pictures), a chair, an accessory or a laundry basket.  Having something that stays constant allows you to see just how much your baby has changed from month to month.

3. Starting point

Decide if you are going to start at the hospital, when you get home, or wait until the one-month mark.  If you are going to start at the hospital, make sure you pack what you need for the picture in your hospital bag.  

4. Keep in mind he will become more mobile

When you are selecting where you are going to take your monthly pictures, remember that your little bean will be way more mobile by the end of the year!  Chairs and surfaces that he can fall off of might become more difficult as the year goes on.  We used his crib, which kept him contained, as well as showed when he was able to stand up.

5. Have fun!

At the beginning of our sessions, I worried about trying to get the perfect shot and making them look similar from month to month.  However as the months went on, it became clear to me that the sessions needed to be about fun and capturing how much fun we were having then the images looking perfect.

6. Use them

After all that work of taking those fun images, make sure you use them in some way!  We had a banner up during Patrick's birthday party showing how he changed over the year.  Some other ideas are to frame the pictures to have around the house or create a photobook.  

Here are how our images turned out.  It amazes me how much Patrick changed from that 10 pound nugget in the hospital, to the amazing boy he has become now.  Have fun with your journey!

10 Things You Will Discover After Having A Baby

1. You will think about someone else a million times a day.

2. You have an all new respect for your parents.

3. New challenges arise every day.

4. Poop and vomit no longer phase you.

5. You will look like an absolute fool just to see a smile on that sweet face.

6. You have a new-found inner strength.

7. You'll listen to an hour of Sesame Street every day for a little bit of peace.

8. Your belongings are no longer just yours.

9. Your showers and potty breaks are now communal (yes, I said potty)

10. You have more love and joy in your life than you ever thought imaginable.